


ashes to ashes, love to love

by polariz3



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Based on the Movies (sorry), Cats, Coming Out, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gifts, Height Differences, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Love Notes, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Poetic, School Trip, Short Chapters, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-02-16 19:45:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18697978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polariz3/pseuds/polariz3
Summary: it's autumn and two boys have fallen for each other. nobody knows, even though it should be obvious, and the denial might just eat both of them alive. minato and ryoji have quite a few qualms about loving each other. of course, those can ease with time.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xFanta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xFanta/gifts).



It was in the light of the water that Minato realized just how nice Ryoji looked.

His hair pressed flat against his head, dripping wet. The fear in his eyes showed as he snuck around the hot spring with the rest of the boys. Minato loved it. He was sincerely, truly, honestly adorable. He thought about the warmth of his gaze when he smiled. There was no denying that Minato had a problem. A very lanky, scarf-clad problem, to be specific. Of course, it was unsightly for Minato to gush about it, so he kept it to himself.

Ryoji, on the other hand, had a five-foot-seven problem with a total obliviousness to Ryoji's feelings for him. He felt as though Minato might not even care about him as a friend, much less a lover. He feared that Minato only pretended to like him, or that Aigis' hostility would turn Minato away.

With that said, there was a very clear scene to be set. Two unknowingly pining lovers, hoping their stars would align without being aware that they already had.


	2. what's in a scarf?

The autumn death and falling leaves meant little to Ryoji. All that he wanted was to have Minato for himself. It was their school trip that truly sweetened the air between them, although Ryoji had by no means appreciated it when Minato dunked his head under the water of the hot spring to quiet his voice. During that trip, Ryoji felt he had seen the softest, brightest parts of Minato. Under the endless noise of his solemn demeanor, Ryoji confirmed, he held a gentle underlayer that made the sun dim in brightness when compared to the brightness that Minato possessed. 

They were sitting together in the early morning.

"Ryoji," Minato murmured, still wishing he could be asleep. "Why do you wear a scarf all the time?"

Ryoji chuckled. "It's fashionable, is it not?"

"I guess."

It was probably the most Minato had spoken all week. Ryoji adored the sound of his voice. "You seem tired."

Minato hummed agreement and nodded, his eyes only half open.

"Why didn't you sleep much last night?"

"Was just thinking."

Ryoji knew not to ask. A tinge of sadness brushed against his mind as he considered asking, then decided against it knowing Minato would never tell him. He felt a heaviness in his chest just staring at him and watching him breathe. Part of him felt guilty, though he wasn't sure why.

"Ryojj," he repeated, "are you my friend?"

In all sincerity, that hurt. It sparked a burning ache in Ryoji's chest. That was the one thing he'd rather not be to Minato. It would be easier to hate him than to stand in the gaping void between being a friend and being a lover. 

"Yes," he said, trying not to choke on it.

——

Minato was so heavy and tired. He didn't want to be awake, he didn't want to see the sun. He wanted to be asleep. Or, in his tired state, being in Ryoji's arms wouldn't be too bad either.

He had stayed up considering a confession to something he barely even wanted to think about, much less admit. Minato wanted to be able to speak but every time he tried, his mind went asunder with fear. Whether or not Ryoji would care for him in return was keeping him in a perpetual state of nervousness every time he was around. Still, he wanted to say something that would make him able to hear Ryoji's voice, and as such, he ended up asking about the scarf. 

Then, he wanted to test some waters. "Ryoji," he asked, "are you my friend?"

He begged for a no. He begged for an "I wish I could be more." He begged for something other than a plain, simple, "yes."

But that was what he got. And that was all he had. 

Ryoji felt uncaring to him, pulling away farther and farther until Minato felt he had nothing left. Hearing him agree to a purely platonic bond was a little death all its own. He felt a coldness in his hands, which ached for the warmth of Ryoji's own.

From each perspective, they were both distant and aloof. Neither knew anything of love or care from the other. In a sense, they were polar opposites, and this was they only thing they shared. Minato was cold, dry, closed-off, and Ryoji was warm and open and bursting at the seams with a heat that Minato wished he was open enough to let in.


	3. pins and needles

"Hairpins do make good gifts for girls," Ryoji remarked, taking the few steps forward to the table and picking up a handful. He tried not to think about what it would be like to thread one through Minato's hair, pinning it back in a way that would make him better able to see Minato's eyes. 

Minato felt his heart sink at the mention of girls. He argued with himself for a moment, thinking first of how disappointed he was that Ryoji would think of a gift for a girl, then of how it wasn't full evidence that he was really into girls, and lastly of how shameful it was to speculate over Ryoji's orientation in such a way. It was either something he would have to ask or none of his business, he thought to himself. 

Ryoji smiled, warming Minato's heart a bit in light of his cold distress. He, of course, bought some of the pins. Three, to be exact. One of them sparkled blue, the other black, and the final one red. It was only later as he and Minato walked together, lagging slightly behind the rest of the group, that he dared reveal any semblance of his true intentions. They came to a stop and took a seat on one of the benches nearby, with Ryoji advising Junpei to go on without them, that they'd catch up.

"Hey, Minato, want one?" He asked.

Minato shook his head. If he didn't use words, was it less overt of a lie? Much to his luck, Ryoji didn't care about his answer. In spite of it, he wound Minato's hair up with a finger and pinned it back. A blush crept across Minato's face, resting high on his cheekbones. 

"What's that for?" Ryoji questioned. "You're blushing."

"What are you doing?"

His voice came off colder than Ryoji anticipated. He tensed up for a moment, afraid he had squandered the flirtatious potential of the moment at hand, but then Minato smirked a smile that turned into a chuckle, then a full blown giggle. Before he knew it, the butterflies in his chest had pushed him to laugh from the sheer love he felt for Ryoji.

"Minato? Are you alright? What's so funny?"

"You! Pinning my hair back like I'm some kind of doll. It's cu... curious. You wouldn't usually do something like that."

Ryoji felt a slight shock. That didn't seem like a natural thing for him to say at all. Could it be that he had nearly slipped up?

"Well I can't say it isn't stylish," he remarked, gesturing to Minato's new hairstyle. "You should keep it like that."

Minato chuckled again. Ryoji thought he might just swoon at the sound, but when Minato put a hand on his leg, sitting in his personal space, the possibility seemed all too real.

"You're quite interesting, you know that?"

"I—interesting? How so?" Ryoji feared he was blushing like a schoolgirl. He was right to be afraid.

"You're not like the rest of the group. You're very kind."

"Are you saying they're not kind?"

"Well, no, I mean that you're more outgoing to me. You don't seem to have lost any hope that I'll open up."

"Of course not. I think you're— I think you're perfectly capable of opening up." The thought that Minato himself was perfect rested on his tongue. He couldn't bear the thought of saying such a thing aloud but his lips threatened to betray his intentions. "After all, I'm sure you don't get much more open to someone than physical contact."

Minato became suddenly aware of his hands and withdrew them into his lap. "Apologies."

"Oh, no, it's nothing to be sorry for. I don't mind at all. But if you're willing to do that with me, I bet your future, uh, partner would be very lucky."

"Partner?"

"Girlfriend. Or maybe boyfriend. Either is fine."

Minato contemplated for a second. It was a risk. He spoke quietly and in nearly a whisper. "Boyfriend."

He watched Ryoji's expression with trained eyes, fearful. A moment of silence turned into minutes and hours and eternities as he waited for even so much as a semblance of reaction, approval or not. He couldn't bear the weight of not knowing and the fear that he might have just made Ryoji very uncomfortable. 

In a sense, however, Ryoji was uncomfortable. Surely, if Minato was into boys, he would have much more of a chance with him. But could Ryoji admit the same? He was almost afraid of Minato's strength in that moment, his willingness to correct such a thing frightening in that it meant he was far braver than Ryoji. 

"That's fair," he finally stated, mouth and throat drier than ever, "I can't blame you. Boys aren't too bad."

Minato, shocked and pulsing with nervousness in every inch of his body, nodded along. He didn't dare to wonder what Ryoji couldve meant by "not too bad." He didn't dare to think, even for a moment, that Ryoji could be like him. He'd never told a soul about feelings like those before. What were the chances the first person he ever told would have them too? It seemed unlikely, downright irrational, and he refused to let himself believe it.

"Now come on, Minato. We should catch up."

All he did was nod. He wasn't sure quite how to feel. Was telling Ryoji a hopeful step in the right direction, or a plunge into the waters of alienation?

He couldn't be sure.


End file.
